Chat to other families
Have you reached a point where you are questioning where your relationship might be going, or have things changed and you aren’t sure how to get your relationship back on track? It is natural for relationships to change over time, but it can very easy to slip into complacency and to start taking each other for granted.
Having children can pile on even more pressure a relationship especially when there might be limited time for you to spend with your partner. It might be that you have to be a little more organised to ensure that you do make this happen. It is easy in any relationship for things to become a little too comfortable but it is really important that you do still make time for your partner to try and keep your relationship alive.
Communication is key in any relationship – if you are feeling neglected or just simply need a hug talk to your partner. Try and make some time to spend together. If this means being a little more organised and getting the kids to bed early one night then go ahead and do it. Having a nice meal with candles can set the ambience for a special evening together.
It can be hard as a parent to take off your “mummy” or “daddy” head but it is important to do this from time to time. It can be so easy to get caught up in your parenting role that you forget your own identity. If it’s an option and you can get a babysitter why not dress up, put some heels on and feel girly and go out and enjoy each other’s company.
The added pressure of finances and running a home can all take their toll on a relationship, but what if things have reached a point where you are questioning whether you still want to be together. Relationships do break down and if you might feel that it is impossible to save your relationship then it might be worth thinking about some professional support. Exploring avenues such as counselling or workshops might help, of if you have both decided to end the relationship and you have children it is worth sitting down together and trying to decide how best you can support your children together.
Many parents recognise the impact their adult relationships have on children and call us about these matters. It seems that for some people seeking help about children and parenting is more acceptable than seeking help about couple relationships. It is common for children’s behaviour to deteriorate when they feel insecure because they see or feel that things between their parents are not going well, and younger children in particular are likely to feel responsible. Offering them reassurance of how much they are loved and that they are in no way to blame for this can be really reassuring.
We work in partnership with an organisation called Marriage Care who offer a dedicated relationship counselling to anyone who is going through a divorce or separation and can help to get relationships back on track. This is what Marriage Care say about their service:
“Marriage Care counselling is for anyone who feels they could benefit from dedicated, professional support. No matter what stage you're at - whether you're just starting out or you've been together for years, whether you're thinking of walking away from one relationship or entering into another - we can help. We believe professional relationship support should be more widely available and consequently, we don't charge a set fee for our work. However, we do ask clients for a contribution to support our services where they can.”
Many parents recognise the impact of their adult relationship difficulties on both how they parent and directly on their children and call us about these matters. It seems that for some people seeking help about children and parenting is more acceptable than seeking help about couple relationships. One plus One is a useful site on relationships.
It is common for children’s behaviour to deteriorate when they feel insecure because they see or feel things between their parents are not going well, and younger children in particular are likely to feel responsible. Groups and workshops give you the opportunity to share your experiences with other parents and to get some fresh ideas on how to help you and your children make the most of life.