Crying baby

6min read

Key Points:

  • There could be number of reasons why your baby is crying including hunger, tiredness or in need of comfort
  • Although there are various techniques, you may find your own ways of soothing your baby that is individual to you and your baby
  • Try stroking your baby’s back firmly and rhythmically, holding them against you or lying face downwards on your lap

Why is my baby crying?

A crying baby can be really exhausting and draining, especially in the early days. As a parent, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed when we are unable to soothe a crying baby. Babies use cues to signal their needs, but it takes time to understand their language. By observing and getting to know your baby, you'll be able to anticipate and address their needs before they start to cry. Even when they are crying, you'll have a good idea of what the problem might be or recognise their different cries. Some of the most common reasons are:

  • they may be hungry
  • they could have a dirty or wet nappy
  • they may be tired or want a cuddle
  • it may be wind or something else just as uncomfortable
  • they may be too hot or too cold
  • it could be boredom or they have been overstimulated through play
  • they may also be overtired 

Soothing your baby

Although there are various techniques, you may find your own ways of soothing your baby that is individual to you and your baby.  You know your baby best and will find out what is best for your family. Try different methods and perhaps speak to friends and family about methods they may have tried and tested.  It is essential to listen to your instincts and respond to your baby in a way that feels comfortable for you.  The following are further tips you can use:

  • If your baby has a dummy or another comforter, use this as a way of soothing them. 
  • If you are breastfeeding, they may need to go on your breast for comfort.
  • Hold your baby and gently sway and quietly soothe them with a lullaby or just talk to them.
  • You could use their pram and push them back and forth.
  • You may want to go out for a walk or a drive.
  • You could distract them with a toy, music, or mobile above their cot
  • Try stroking your baby’s back firmly and rhythmically, holding them against you or lying face downwards on your lap. 
  • You could also massage them gently with baby oil in a warm room.
  • Try a warm bath as this might help calm your baby

Looking after yourself

It’s natural to experience difficult, frustrated or even angry feelings when our babies cry and cry and whatever we do to comfort them is not working.  It’s important not to feel guilty about those feelings, but to try and work out both how we can help our babies and how we can help ourselves. Having the feelings isn’t wrong – what’s important is not acting out the feelings on the baby. Our tips on what can help:  

  • Try to keep calm and use breathing techniques
  • Leave the room for a short time if you feel yourself feeling frustrated so that you can calm down but make sure baby is safe before you do so
  • Ask someone else to hold the baby for a while if you can
  • Talk to other people about what they do or ask for help from your Health Visitor and/or GP if your baby is crying a lot
  • Plan some time to yourself to recharge your batteries
  • Lean on your family and friends for support

Further resources

If you would like further support and advice, call our helpline on 0808 800 2222 or email us at askus@familylives.org.uk. You can talk to us online via our live chat service, which is open, Monday to Friday between 10.30am and 9pm. You may find it helps to find out how other parents and carers have coped with this on our online forums. We also have a range of free online parenting courses that can help through the ages and stages of parenting. 

Other organisations that you may find helpful

Our free online parenting course, New Baby in the Family, is a really helpful way of learning about your baby's needs. It covers four modules that includes communication and crying. You can work at your own pace and our course is free. 

This advice from Bounty is really helpful if you are trying to cope with a crying baby

The NCT have advice on how to keep calm with a crying baby

Visit the NHS website for further tips and advice

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