Managing the arguments
Family Agreements and Routines
If you find the same arguments arise time after time, perhaps you could consider creating a family agreement or routine to address some of the recurring issues. This could include taking turns on a device, ensuring that everyone is clear on allocated chores and days, screen times, allocated shower/bath times etc. Perhaps if your children share a room you could agree on set days they are allowed the room to themselves for a few hours. If they struggle to share, consider allowing them a small space for a couple of things which are “theirs” and encourage the remaining toys and games to be shared and fairly used.
Role Modelling
You can be a role model for your children in many ways. For any age child or teen this could include demonstrating how to compromise or to work out a disagreement calmly and kindly without fighting. Let them see you getting on with others. This will give them a good grounding for resolving their own arguments and disagreements in the future.
Create a plan
It can be really stressful when siblings are arguing, it is physically and emotionally draining at any age. As hard as it is, try to stay calm to prevent the arguments escalating. It can feel reassuring to have a plan of response in mind. For younger children perhaps you could create a calm zone or space where they can go and sit if they are feeling angry - perhaps you can decorate it with some cushions and lights, put some books or some paper and pens in there and encourage them to write or draw how they are feeling. When they are feeling calmer you could perhaps help them to work out a solution.
For teens it may help to have a plan of response in mind to reduce your own stress and theirs too. If you need to step in, can you help to resolve the issue by facilitating an agreement or by encouraging them to both explain their problems to you individually? Maybe you can encourage them to take some timeout until they feel calm enough to talk - perhaps a walk, listening to music or by having some breathing space from each other before coming back to work things out.
If you feel the arguments have become unmanageable, violent or out of hand and you need help, you can also speak to your child’s teacher or GP who may be able to make a referral.