Sleepovers

Set some ground rules with your child before you agree to a sleepover

• If your child’s room isn’t big enough you could let them sleep in the lounge. Ask them to help you get the lounge ready and tidy up the next day
• Discuss what movie or shows they may be watching so you can ensure that it is appropriate. It is important to remember that different families have rules on what they consider ok to watch
• Encourage your child has to take responsibility for their guests. They should keep an eye out for anyone who might feel left out or any fallings out. Let your child know that if they are worried about anything they can come and talk to you
• Try and set a general cut-off point time for your child of when you hope they will go to sleep or at least settle down. Remind them that younger brothers or sisters need their sleep
• Get your child involved in preparing for the sleepover including organising food and soft drinks. Try to balance out the sugary drinks by making fruit smoothies instead. Kids generally entertain each other, but have a ‘plan B’ if you think they need a distraction. Get your child involved so they know what things there are to do, whether it is a girls’ hair and make-up session or board games and a DVD
• Be prepared for an upset child who wants to go home in the middle of the night. Most parents prefer to try and calm the child rather than take them home or wake their parents. Talk to your child about how you would both handle this if one of their friends did get homesick or feel upset so they take on the responsibility too
• Think through where you will be in the house and how much you will intervene
   

What other parents advise

“I knew I was in for a noisy night, but just thought of it as a treat for my daughter’s birthday which I was going to grin and bear. When it got to about one in the morning I became slightly more stern to help them settle down and put on a quiet DVD so they could drift off to sleep.”

One mum told us that she set up the tent in the garden, which was secure. She said her son and his friends loved it – although she made sure she set rules beforehand such as no fires and no wandering off in the neighbourhood at night. She also made a ‘Plan B’ in case it rained too heavily or got too cold.

Some parents were nervous about allowing their child to sleep over at a family home they didn’t know. One mum decided to get round the problem by saying her child could go, but as they were going out early the next day they would pick up their child that night rather than in the morning. Once she got a feel for the family and how comfortable her child was she felt much more relaxed the next time her child was invited for a sleepover.

Further resources

It may help to chat to other parents on our forums to find out how they are dealing with this issue within their family life. You can also talk to us online via our live chat service, email us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call us on our helpline on 0808 800 2222 to speak to trained family support worker.