Supporting your child when someone dies

When you have lost someone through death, a partner, child, family member or friend, it may seem overwhelming to offer support to your child. The loss experienced will have changed everything and each family member will be trying to make sense of what has happened in their own way. Children and young people may need some help with this:

• Try to talk to your children honestly and explain what has happened in a way that they can understand. They need information and reassurance.
• Try to talk to the children about the funeral. Including them and giving them choices will help them to remember and say goodbye.
• Talk about the person who has died - include your children in remembering.
• How children grieve will depend on their age and their understanding of events.
• Your children’s grief may be shown in behaviour and they may be distraught one minute and playing happily the next.
• Inform the school about the child’s loss.
• Trust your instincts as a parent and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
• It’s OK for you and your children to feel sad, angry, confused, empty, guilty, anxious and many other emotions – and it is OK if you don’t.

Further help

• Childhood Bereavement Network Can signpost to local and national support services
• Winston’s Wish For grieving children and their families
• Cruse Bereavement Care 
• Child Bereavement Trust Information for bereaved families

After the death of a child:

• Child Death Helpline For anyone affected by the death of a child 
• The Compassionate Friends Support for parents and families when a child has died