When your teen asks to have friends to sleep over, or asks to sleep over at a friend’s, your first response may be a no, or you may be feeling reluctant. Visions of risky behaviour may flash through your mind.
But the fact is, at some point you are going to have to take a risk and leave your teenager on their own with others. Says Paula Hall, Relate counsellor, psychotherapist and mum of two teenage daughters: “If you feel you always need to be there to supervise, you need to ask yourself: what is it you are worried about that might go on – and what really are the chances of that happening?
“If we don’t give teenagers responsibility then they won’t ever take it. Unfortunately, at times, you are going to get it wrong – but you are going to have to get them to take responsibility for things at some point.”
Paula adds that if you’re going to allow teens to be home with friends alone, set boundaries beforehand such as: no deliberate damage to property; no smoking in the house; no taking your things; don’t touch the alcohol; don’t help themselves to food without checking with you first.