What if your child has viewed pornographic material?
Don’t automatically assume that your child has been seeking out this content if you see sexual words on their search history. They may have been looking for information on sex education or sexual health matters or clicked on a link from another site.
A lot of young people use the internet for sex education and health concerns, so if you decide to put parental controls on their computer, do your research. Choose one which blocks this content but still permits access to sexual education sites.
Don’t believe young people don’t want you to talk about it. It’s important to chat about the impact of pornography and the negative effects it can have in a general sense. Ensure they know the difference between realistic sex and sensationalised sex.
Sometimes it helps if you say: “What do your friends think about so-and-so?” rather than asking them directly for their view. Try: “I’ve heard people can get pornography on their mobiles – what do you think about that?”
Remember that this also applies to girls. Don’t make the mistake of thinking only boys watch this content. If you discover them watching it, don’t over-react. It’s important to stay calm. Say gently; “Can we turn it off?” Then go and do something else until you feel ready to talk.
Avoid dishing out punishments if you have found out that your teen has watched this. The most important thing is to keep the channels of communication open and have a conversation with them. Try asking: – what did you learn from watching that? Is it something that taught you more about love? Stress that this sexual adult content doesn’t teach about emotional relationships, and it is unrealistic.
Some teens do post sexual videos of themselves online and may be unaware that they could be breaking the law as it is an offence to post sexual images of anyone under the age of 18, even if it is themselves. This is time to put your foot down as they are putting themselves in harm's way.
If you do think there are addiction issues, see your GP and get support. It could affect their concentration, studies and views on sex and relationships.